Random Thoughts

i have been experiencing miserable moments more than joyous ones lately due to some reasons..hence causing my spirit to be a bit subdued every now and then..plus all that assignments didnt help either.. but im thankful to say that ive a round of close friends whom i can be with to flip my mood up again..even though most of the times i couldnt tell them what actually happened or how i actually felt in words, but just by being with them i feel secured again.. their presence affects me more than the problem itself coz i couldnt stay silent for more than half an hour if they were around..they are like my pillars of strength..i know sometimes i could be a bit mengada2, or maybe a bit too blur, or even childish, or worse, selfish...i know at times i do things that i dont give much thought about..im also aware that sometimes i hurt a few hearts unintentionally coz of that reason..but dear friends.....i really love u guys and i do try to be someone u could call a friend....   please dont leave me. im not strong enough without my pillars....    :(

one night skyping :D

okayy so i was skyping w one of my fave men tonite  - Azmer << tweet him here and we chatted wayyyy too long hahahaa. we were talkin like crazy drunk people who talk nonsense and snapped helluva lot of photos haha! so here they are the mementos. enjoy! :P

my fave one!

kesimpulannye: i really miss this crazy dude! :(

yesterday

yesterday i went to Amcorp in PJ to find meself a nice lace kebaya for the weddings next year. both are themed gold so my main reason to go there was to scour the whole mall for the perfect lace kebaya. but before that me n the mamakins went to have lunch first at secret recipe and i had this prawn macaroni topped with lots of parmesan cheese (okayy i heard ur saliva building up there haha!)

okayy actually the mom was supposed to have a lunch date with one of her friends from school (gile retro kan huhu) so while waiting for the lady to come we ate first. i was eagerly stuffing myself up with this delish marvelously-made dish (mama curik some cehh) and a few moments gone by the friend xdatang2 lagi. (later on baru she explained she was caught up washing the cat haha!) ouyeah and i was really annoyed with the waiters here coz i asked like a few times for the bill but still they kept forgetting about it! sheeshh.

mama & anty Aida

later on we went round the mall and somehow i got into this one boutique and i saw this one Javanese-style lace kebaya and its in gold! i excitedly called up my mom and showed it to her. sadly she didnt quite like it. cehh so much for the euphoria. T_T

and so the kakak there handed me another kebaya (pendek) but the material is organza (i think) n the mom terus approved. heh. so got the pario attached and was trying it on while the assistant took my measurement for the kebaya to be fitted. huhu. so done for the scouring thingy. (gambar tiada lagi coz baju xamek lagi from them due to the alteration made)

oyeah! i bought a new book. The Beach by Jane Green. just started reading it but im sure its gonna be great just like another one of her book Second Chance, which i too, owned. ouhh forgot to tell ya. ive just cut my hair. did i hear a "Jyeahh!" or "aww.. i wished u wouldve kept it" ? hmm? hmm? which one is it? hahahaha. well the story was like this, my true intention really was to just get a trim. okayy so the amoi done cutting n trimming it. but then, the mom had to interfere and 'give her opinion' on that i should cut it a bit more. *sigh.

sedeyh okayy? so here it is. this was on my best day. tunggu for the worst to come. and it is actually shorter than it looks.

oyeahh another thing which bugged me helluva lot yesterday was.....a friend of mine texted me saying she wont be staying in the same room anymore coz she said she wanted some space due to the happenings around her (i understand really i do) so she wanted a single bed to begin with. for that to happen she has to move to another friend's room. i was a bit disturbed coz of that due to the fact that that will mean ive to stay alone again in a room...which i dun really like when im in sa. (its diff back home). it feels....big. lonely. solitary. damn i hate those feelings. but what to do. i guess i just have to brave the solitude. again. *sigh

tqvm for reading.   T_T

heheh.

okayy i know i looked kinda weird here (n i think ive getting chubbier at the cheeks) but i love my hair! hahahaha 

should i grieve over one lost friend?
should i weep over the friend turned enemy?
should i keep having flashbacks over the unwanted memories?
or should i just sweep everything under the rag and compress my emotions?

things you probably dont know about me.

>>  first and foremost - i HATE roaches! really, i do. so dont try me. coz you so dont wanna see what chaos could i do.
>>  im not particularly a morning person BUT i do wake up easily. seriously.
>>  i dont really like getting all sweaty coz i get rashes easily.
>>  when i was a kid, i used to hate the darkness. now, i could tolerate being in the dark but not total darkness and with nobody in it!
>>  im not fond of liars. dont lie directly to my face and pretend as if im dumb enough to believe it.
>>  i dont really like being alone because if im alone, i tend to think a lot. and when i think a lot, well, you dont wanna know. and who am i supposed to talk to if im alone??
>>  yeahh. im a hardcore daydreamer. i daydream A LOT. seriously. even if im in the class or when im having a conversation w friends.  my mind tend to drift so many times that people would think of me as being blur.
>>  on the other hand, i do tend to be blur at times. i dunno why. my bad habit is that, when friends have told me and i didnt get it on the first time, i'd rather just leave things that way and not ask the second time coz not many people are tolerant enough to explain again.
>>  im not a spend-thrift person. HAHA. i spend a lot. sometimes i dunno what ive spent on. really, most of the times i just buy food, reload, maybe watch movies or go karaoke. and if i do have extras, i'll go shopping. but more often than not, i just have no idea where do my money goes.
>>  i tend to fall for the wrong guy. every single time. damn.
>>  sorry but yeah i do get sick quite easily. dont blame me but thats just the way i am.
>>  am really a clumsy person. a klutz. i always trip so many times. i get countless bruises and cuts coz of that.
>>  am not a fan of K-Pop or J-Pop or whatever Pop there is. hehehe. i like watching them, i complimented them, but i just not into them.
>>  am quite a passive person at first. will gradually become active once we've bonded enough. seriously. i dunno why my friends wont believe that.
>>  really sucks in presenting. why? coz i get stage fright helluva lot. i get really nervous when facing the audience and this will make me stutter and lose focus, hence will portray me as an idiot.  XD
>>  could be quite sensitive at times depending on the circumstances.
>>  am not really a homebody person coz i get bored easily so i like going out and hanging out w friends a lot.
>>  on the other hand, if im not out and about, i'll sleep. ohh, i sleep a lot! you dont know how long can i sleep haha. there are times when my mom would actually go into the room just to check whether im still alive or not.  XD
>>  apart from my fave hobby of sleeping, i read. novels usually. authors like John Grisham, Jeffrey Archer, Sidney Sheldon, Cecelia Ahern are my fave...apart from others. thank god i share this hobby with my mom so i could grab whatever shes bought so that i could read whenever its raining. (yes its the perfect time to be reading)
>>  talking about the rain...i love the rain. i love cold weather coz then i get to curl up in bed with a book on hand while listening to the rain, blanketed by the comforter. but then, i dislike going out when its raining. i dont like getting wet coz like i said, i get sick easily so why looking for trouble when i could avoid it?
>>  i LOVE music! music helps me to get by day-to-day in my life. i listen to it a whole load. like i said earlier, i dislike solitary so if theres no one, music accompanies me.
>>  people dunno this but when i say i could be quiet at times, they find it hard to believe. i do, really. rather than talking non-stop and listening to people yapping, i prefer to be in the room sleeping, reading, texting or listening to songs. i could go by not talking for hours on end by myself. im amazed myself. haha.
>>  love collectibles. i like collecting anything. my mom calls it hoarding. haha.
>>  i eat a lot. and many times. seriously.
>>  oh yeahh. a true fan of Nescafe.

there are many other things i could share but nanti2 laa update. hee ~

cw in the car. as always.

hahaha camwhoring adalah perkara biasa untuk para wanita yang berjaya. heheh.

>>> rakan2ku ... is there any pix here worth putting as the profile pix? probably not.  XD

aku dan diriku

org tade kije begini laa yea rakan-rakan. hee ~

suke mengambel gmbr melalui fon kakakku n directly upload them to fb yeehaa ~

thinking away ~

i dunno what to believe, what to think..

a lot of things have been running on my mind these past few days..

my mom keep askin me to be nice to the 'dad' due to some new reasons..

been wantin to meet up w afiq n pour all my heart's contents..

been wantin to go down the path alone n reconsider the matters that need considering..

wanna someone to tell me what to do n what i shouldnt do at this moment..

wanna go on top of a mountain n scream all i can..

need someone to b strong for me n hug the pain away..

n yeah..i dun need someone who feels forced to luv me..

being alone is sweeter than being suffocated..

i hate it!!

i wanna cut my hair!! the split ends are really botherin me! ggrrr!

and my side-swept bangs are growin out. i have to cut it! 

cut it cut it cut it!!!

why can't you?

why cant he understand what i want and what i need?

why couldnt he show that he cares n loves me?

why couldnt he look deeper of what i really am trying to imply?

p/s: not the guy in d picture. :p

cricket anyone?

cricket = lighter

i know i know people will ponder on the reason why im posting this.

im making it clear that i dont smoke n will try not to haha. BUT i do carry around a lighter with me.

i dunno why...i sometimes like to buy lighters for its colour n design, but only d cheap ones laa haha.

i know i know people will say, "hey rugi laa ko beli tapi xde gune"

who says i cant make use of it? sometimes when people dun have their lighters w them to light up the candles, AH-HAH! there goes my lighter.

n when people forgot to bring their lighters around to smoke, AH-HAH! there goes my lighter again.

see it does serve its purposes hehe.

sekian ~