things you probably dont know about me.

>>  first and foremost - i HATE roaches! really, i do. so dont try me. coz you so dont wanna see what chaos could i do.
>>  im not particularly a morning person BUT i do wake up easily. seriously.
>>  i dont really like getting all sweaty coz i get rashes easily.
>>  when i was a kid, i used to hate the darkness. now, i could tolerate being in the dark but not total darkness and with nobody in it!
>>  im not fond of liars. dont lie directly to my face and pretend as if im dumb enough to believe it.
>>  i dont really like being alone because if im alone, i tend to think a lot. and when i think a lot, well, you dont wanna know. and who am i supposed to talk to if im alone??
>>  yeahh. im a hardcore daydreamer. i daydream A LOT. seriously. even if im in the class or when im having a conversation w friends.  my mind tend to drift so many times that people would think of me as being blur.
>>  on the other hand, i do tend to be blur at times. i dunno why. my bad habit is that, when friends have told me and i didnt get it on the first time, i'd rather just leave things that way and not ask the second time coz not many people are tolerant enough to explain again.
>>  im not a spend-thrift person. HAHA. i spend a lot. sometimes i dunno what ive spent on. really, most of the times i just buy food, reload, maybe watch movies or go karaoke. and if i do have extras, i'll go shopping. but more often than not, i just have no idea where do my money goes.
>>  i tend to fall for the wrong guy. every single time. damn.
>>  sorry but yeah i do get sick quite easily. dont blame me but thats just the way i am.
>>  am really a clumsy person. a klutz. i always trip so many times. i get countless bruises and cuts coz of that.
>>  am not a fan of K-Pop or J-Pop or whatever Pop there is. hehehe. i like watching them, i complimented them, but i just not into them.
>>  am quite a passive person at first. will gradually become active once we've bonded enough. seriously. i dunno why my friends wont believe that.
>>  really sucks in presenting. why? coz i get stage fright helluva lot. i get really nervous when facing the audience and this will make me stutter and lose focus, hence will portray me as an idiot.  XD
>>  could be quite sensitive at times depending on the circumstances.
>>  am not really a homebody person coz i get bored easily so i like going out and hanging out w friends a lot.
>>  on the other hand, if im not out and about, i'll sleep. ohh, i sleep a lot! you dont know how long can i sleep haha. there are times when my mom would actually go into the room just to check whether im still alive or not.  XD
>>  apart from my fave hobby of sleeping, i read. novels usually. authors like John Grisham, Jeffrey Archer, Sidney Sheldon, Cecelia Ahern are my fave...apart from others. thank god i share this hobby with my mom so i could grab whatever shes bought so that i could read whenever its raining. (yes its the perfect time to be reading)
>>  talking about the rain...i love the rain. i love cold weather coz then i get to curl up in bed with a book on hand while listening to the rain, blanketed by the comforter. but then, i dislike going out when its raining. i dont like getting wet coz like i said, i get sick easily so why looking for trouble when i could avoid it?
>>  i LOVE music! music helps me to get by day-to-day in my life. i listen to it a whole load. like i said earlier, i dislike solitary so if theres no one, music accompanies me.
>>  people dunno this but when i say i could be quiet at times, they find it hard to believe. i do, really. rather than talking non-stop and listening to people yapping, i prefer to be in the room sleeping, reading, texting or listening to songs. i could go by not talking for hours on end by myself. im amazed myself. haha.
>>  love collectibles. i like collecting anything. my mom calls it hoarding. haha.
>>  i eat a lot. and many times. seriously.
>>  oh yeahh. a true fan of Nescafe.

there are many other things i could share but nanti2 laa update. hee ~

snappy snaps!

saje nak letak sbb terperap dlm fon.  XD

yeah and the last photo is my granddad. haha! 

cw in the car. as always.

hahaha camwhoring adalah perkara biasa untuk para wanita yang berjaya. heheh.

>>> rakan2ku ... is there any pix here worth putting as the profile pix? probably not.  XD

A Personal Note

How should i put this..... i guess i still am feeling it. this whole thing is just a mind-boggling experience to me that...that, i couldnt be able to understand that person. i thought i knew him but i guess knowing and having an in-depth knowledge of that person's details differ as much huh? well dont people always say that do NOT judge a book by its cover. not to say that hes not a good friend..he could be. but then hes proven himself to be a worthless friend in time. a simple explanation would suffice if ever uve done anything wrong towards your friends, isnt it? everyone knows that justifications play a vital role in arguments..well apart from those people who dont realize what they did is wrong, people who do realized it always, i repeat, ALWAYS have to justify themselves. thats why we have the law, we have the court, we have the judicial system! how could you face the judgment of others when you could NOT even face me? i wonder. 

I was in deep thinking the previous weeks earlier, that this happened maybe coz i messed up? or i didnt meet the expectations? or maybe he thought that i was clearly good enough only for him to kill time? damn thats so fucked up. haha. i wasnt really complaining though, bcoz if i hadnt put an end to it soon enough, i'll be in hot waters every single day (from the people around me constantly feeling emphatic towards me) well, no more pitying my sorry lil ass. ive decided that no more being the miss nice-friend-ever. yeahh to the relief of the people surrounding me, ive stopped all of it. but then im still feeling the grudge. sorry. i know its lame for holding back grudges but although it was a vague incident,  it could be considered as fresh. well, im just taking my sweet lil time to kill this grudge. slowly but surely. yeahh thats it. a slow painful death. haha. ironic isnt it? whos killing who nways?

On a personal note though, well, what could i do if the intended person saw me as not fun enough (am i supposed to be a clown??), not cool enough (sorry last i checked ive no brother named Usher), not pretty enough (lack Jolie lips n Gisele's body), not fair enough (not a Snow White replica either), not having long shiny locks enough (i aint no Rapunzel dammit!), not photogenic enough (duhh im not Kate Moss!). yeahh its safe to say that im more the Plain Jane type rather than the Luscious Lila. guys seldom see me among the crowds. i guess, im through chasing guys. im tired of waiting them to finally pick up the hints and hit it up. but sadly, that NEVER happens. so im kinda jealous to girls who always had it easy with guys. no offense to anyone, im just saying what i feel. a babe of mine once said, why dont you just take on a guy who likes you? yeahh i could do that. BUT whats the point if i dont feel any connection to him? if i had to rack my brain on what to talk about during conversations....well, it aint happening. its not gonna work sweetie. sometimes i feel like i could just curl up in bed with a book on hand while listening to the rain. now, thats comforting. rather than i face people and  not feeling at ease, right? 

So.. John Grisham book. (checked) Comforter. (checked) Rain. (err....well that has to wait)

Till then.

once upon a story

okay ive a story to share w u guys. :p

this friend of mine misplaced her phone and she was in frantic trying to find the phone. but idk why she was at the cc later on, and then she asked another friend of mine to text me and ask me to reply back coz i wasnt online that time. so i quickly get online and asked her whats wrong. after she explained a bit, ive finally got the idea of what she was looking for initially. haha. so i calmly told her that the phone's not gonna be lost. shes just had misplaced it. either its in the car or its in the room. but ive the instinct that its not stolen or fell somewhere irretrievable bcoz shes the type of person whose phone is always at hand (like me) n so its impossible for her to not bring it anywhere. so i told her to keep looking n be calm about it when looking coz when u panic, u wont find it.

she was just worried of 'getting it' from someone ( :p ) and so i said to her theres no need to be worried. if its in the car, it might get slide behind or something. or between the gaps. i dunno. then after a while, theres the good news. she found her baby! where? in the car. hehehehehe. so i know ud find it. ur just like me. always misplacing things. in the end, its just very near to u, only u have to search thoroughly. :)

im glad u found it. da boleh tido tanpa nightmare. hee ~

introducing..

introducing...my all-time boyfie :

couldnt recognize him? well lets look at another picture of him.

*drools*

entry tade makne

i think all my friends have been bz for now...damn.
sorang2 laa daku.. sobsob..
currently rajin lak update twitter sbb a fwen of mine keeps buggin me to do so since ive left it bersawang lame gile hahhaaha.

equation of life

what do you get when you equal BR + B + PH + Etc?
that goes down to Baskin Robbins, Bud's, Pizza Hut, tomyam, sate, nasi lemak every other day?
hoho. the KG goes UP people!
*sigh

btw this goes to maddy.

U + Us = Lovesquared

so we r here w ya. :)

vampy vampy who are thee

XSANGKE MOST OF MY FRIENDS ARE VAMPIRE-TO-BE....COZ THEY LIKE TO BITE ME! PENUH LEBAM LENGAN AKU NGN GIGITAN KORG. TAU LAA SYG AKU TAYA TUNJUK SGT HEHEHEHE. CASE A: MISS FAREZ GIGIT SMLM SBB GERAM I LAUGHED AT HER. (GAMBAR EVIDENCE TIDAK DIPAPARKAN SBB LEBAM XJELAS SGT HEHE)

fast food anyone?

while i was flipping thru channels on astro just now, i stumbled upon this one food channel which was airing "Best Food Ever" programme. it broadcasted about 5 magnificent food found on trailer shops across America. wow i felt like i HAD to watch it considering my passion for food. hehe. i was largely surprised on how these shops can generate huge profit out of from using a trailer as a permanent location. what amazed me was that they can still create menus, n i mean really tasty-looking menus even if they dont have large spaces and maybe not all equipments that could be found in normal eateries. plus, people keep comin back for the meals even if these kind of eateries dont usually provide tables n chairs to sit down. n hey, this one trailer shop which serves mainly western food n yoghurt, rosemary fries, etc uses smart phone to take orders so that the chefs inside the trailer could keep up with the non-stop incoming orders. thats cool. why cant we have this kind of business here? im sure it'll boost up the economy and people will have something different to try on. :)

Sweet Republic (for the sweet tooth in you)

looks yummy isnt it?

Waffles & Dinges

how can you resist these waffles??

Seoul on Wheels (Korean BBQ)

n how about this spicy korean food?

how should i tell this?

i know ive told my girls about my experience w that "something" thingy a few weeks back. this was days after ive just came back home for the sem break. owkei, ive these small bruises on the legs and some minor scratches on the back. ive only noticed the bruises when i wanna take my baths, as for the scratches my sis was the one who saw them n told me about them. i mean, i can understand the bruises but then, the scratches? i know if ive had scratched my back, but then they were quite at the middle so i was a bit puzzled.
and then days gone by without anything and suddenly there was this one day when i was taking a nap in my sister's room (coz my room tend to get hot at noon)...and then i felt like somebody slapped my back, not hard but firm. i mean, seriously i wasnt faking it. i felt it. n so i was awoken by it n then brushed it off as nothing, n went back to sleep.
owkei..this one quite gives me the creeps i guess. last nite, me n my sis were downstairs to get us some helpings on the cake that my mother bought. then we went upstairs and i saw that my stepdad was sleeping downstairs. n so after we got to my sister's room, she went to lie down n i continued to on9 and watching movie at the lappie. then suddenly i heard my stepdad like, screaming like he was angry. i thought he was mengigau and having a nightmare or whatever but then suddenly he said the azan. i knew my sis heard it too coz she got up and started to go downstairs. i followed suit but then as soon as we got down the flight of stairs he got back to sleep again. so then i seriously thought he was mengigau.
then earlier today i asked him what happened last night. n he said he saw something was goin up and he was tryin to stop it.
damn. that gave the creeps after hearing it.

current mood.

this is how im feelin rite now ~

vintage rawks!

its black its white

i cant deny it. i luv b&w photography...somehow it gives me the feelings of old time and classic-ness. n it makes me feel like im surrounded by memories...hehe. so here are some of b&w photos that ive stumbled upon which i taken a fondness of.  :)

i really admire this last photo..i dunno why. it seems like she's free and she's enjoying the nature around her. how i wish i could be like this..

fashion for a cause

i dunno why but i love this ad. one maybe coz its B&W. second coz its rihanna. third maybe coz its fashion for a cause. fourth, hell yeah its photography.  :)

girls + fashion + age

a fwen of mine and i were discussing about the age thingy and we all said the same thing, have been mistaken for 20 year-olds and a few rare cases for me but common for her, to be mistaken for high-schoolers. (damn!)
and so i said to her, why could possibly made people mistook us for high-schoolers? adekah nampak muda or dressing aku selekeh?
she answered, and i like her reply, "kite pilih.....nampak muda. hehehe. sentiasa jgn ckp selekeh."
hahahahahaa. i agree. we are young n young people wear fashion however they like....especially girls.
have a look.

Dear Leha ~

i had this conversation w one of my besties from school. finally i could confess to her about the guy, the relationship n the breakup thingy...

n after a while of discussing n sharing..it was funny when she suddenly said this :

n later on when we got to the part of  "killing the guy" thingy...she was being sweet and told me this :

finally, when i mentioned something about she being forgetful n will forget what had happened in an instant,

she replied this :

hehehehe....she's funny.. i luvyu babe. :p

Grenade

Easy come, easy go,
That's just how you live, oh,
Take, take, take it all,
But you never give.
Should've known you was trouble
From the first kiss,
Had your eyes wide open.
Why were they open?

Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash,
You tossed it in the trash, you did.
To give me all your love is all I ever asked, 'cause
What you don't understand is

I'd catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah)
I'd jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh, I would go through all of this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain!
Yes, I would die for ya, baby,
But you won't do the same.

No, no no

Black, black, black and blue, beat me 'til I'm numb,
Tell the devil I said "hey" when you get back to where you're from.
Mad woman, bad woman, that's just what you are,
Yeah, you'll smile in my face then rip the brakes out my car

Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash,
You tossed it in the trash, yes you did.

To give me all your love is all I ever asked, 'cause
What you don't understand is

I'd catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah)
I'd jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh, I would go through all of this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain!
Yes, I would die for ya, baby,
But you won't do the same.

If my body was on fire,
Ooh, you'd watch me burn down in flames.
You said you loved me, you're a liar, 'cause you never, ever, EVER did, baby!
But, darling

I'd still catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah)
I'd jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh, I would go through all of this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain!
Yes, I would die for ya, baby,
But you won't do the same.

No, you won't do the same
You wouldn't do the same
Ooh, you'd never do the same
Ohh, no no no

hey all of you.

this is why i couldnt tell the babes yet what was i goin through these past few days.....they would sure as hell told me to get a grip and move on. that was why i didnt tell them about the relationship at the first place, coz they might be freakin mad. none of my besties from school, dip and deg know about it except afiq. itu pon dia da marah awl2 but then he said if this is what i want then he'll agree. BUT if it ends, it stops there. no more contacting each other. "biar habis terus jangan ko seksa lagi. aku xsuka tengok ko xhappy, nanges. n most importantly, aku xsuka bila ko nanges aku takde seblah ko."
girls..please understand my situation...i know its wrong..i know its partly my fault for not listenin to u guys...but this is what i want at the first place..u guys have no idea how long ive waited for him... 2yrs+ is not a short time.....and so once he 'proposed' to me, i just accepted with high hopes that he mustve love me in the end. sadly, right after he asked me, he changed. i sensed his changes and i kept asking him about it...but he kept avoiding in answering it. his behaviour really sucked and i couldnt even say it here lest u guys will b pissed off from readin it.
even my cousin closest to me told me that he's bad news. thats why i couldnt bring myself to tell him. he'll be angry w me for going against his wishes.
but now its over.....idk.......im relieved to finally knew him like this..but deep in my heart....i need my space... 
i need support. i need courage. i need people to understand my situation.....n most importantly..i need time to recover...i couldnt just drop everything up and pretend it didnt happen....that it doesnt affect me bcoz it does...i just need love n support from everyone...i need them to listen to my tears n hug my pain away.....i may seem strong on the outside but when it comes to this, i crumble. i need my stellar most at this moment. n its u guys.

+ +

am officially single. just broken up. any hawt single n sincere guys who like to date me?

a very pissed off me!

everything pisses me off today!
the mom wanna go to mcd to order in advance for her class party tomorrow so we ate there. n then i said makan nnt coz i dun want to rush coz she said we'll be goin to the ppum afterwards. she insisted on eating something so i had to go buy. just about i finished eating the burger she said, fries makan dlm kete la. my mood of eating just..stopped. i hate rushing when eating coz my stomach'll get hurt. n i dun like eating in the car w air n all coz im  a clumsy person, so i try my best not to eat in the car to avoid any mess.
later we went to the ppum to visit her fwen. well whaddya know, the fwen's already discharged this morning. i asked why didnt you ask her first b4 coming? n she just simply replied, i dun have the number. now i started to get angry.if it was us that was in her position, she'll get fckn mad! now sape yg salah skang nih?
n then she wanted to buy some things in amcorp so she asked me if i know the way. i said rase2 tau sbb nearby j. n i said alaa pusing2 sket tapelah klo slh jalan pon.n she started sayin takpelah. balik je lah.
my mom always like this. ape slhnye kalo sesat sket. at least the next time u'll know the roads. n anyhow its not like its THAT far pon.so i called up my cousin n asked him the directions, n to confirm my directions. so owkei da sampai sane she went to buy a handbag n shoes.i really3 wanted this bag, sangat chantek n its only $70. n she said next time lah beli. i know there's not gonna be a next time.  :(
later we went upstairs to the bookshop which was the main reason on us comin here. the books are considered cheap as they are all half-priced ones. i was about to take just one book and she already took two n then she asked me, u want any? lainkali lah. mama xcukup duit skang.i put the book down and just went straight out of the shop. i felt like screaming there! baik tapayah bwk aku kalo nak shopping sorang! n baik tapayah tanye aku kalo tanak belikan! everyone keeps pissing me off these few days! 
i am so freakin maddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


n this guy was another story.
texted him around noon n he wasnt even up! i said wake up coz i wanted to talk to him, his reply was, lemme sleep a bit more. n when i texted him using another num which he doesnt know of, he replied. i feel like sayin, go fck yourself.
n then just i was comin back home, he texted. he really makes me mad every time he uses the word 'awk' to address me. wats up with the 'awk2' thingy?? n then i said im nt in the mood coz of today. n he told me, if u need me i'll be here. n i said, yeala. n thanks for not replying my question on fb. terus dia log on to fb n reply the message. but still, it wasnt satisfactory. n his status was, "i have no mood for love"
like, seriously? are u fckin serious??? u wanna die?? i so can kill u RITE THIS MOMENT! god if u are in front of me..........god knows what i'll do!
u can call my 2nd num just to find out whose num izit and u couldnt even call my num once when i was sick!
u could text others but u couldnt even text me to say ur home??
u could on9 but couldnt reply my messages, n u could comment with others??
what d fck are u tryin to do?????
just let me go if u try this hard to avoid me!

questions on why.

why did you take me in if you tend to ignore
why did you tell if you tend to lie
why did you choose if you tend to be indecisive
why did you reply if you tend to use avoidance
why did you appear if you tend to fade away
why did you hold on if you tend to loosen the grasp
why did you give security if you tend to be unsure yourself
why did you?

it is spelled as =

- fck you -

lil miss retro

okay this is my bff from school - Jue (or we fondly called her as leha hehe) 
this was taken on a dinner i guess, themed malam pesta muda-mudi so its gotta be like retro-ey style rite?
so here she dressed very chic n very perempuan-melayu-terakhir-like.. i just love the colour, the dress, the pose. beautifully-captured this one.
my girl's just gorgy. hehe.